The Empty Promise of "If Only"

I sat in the office of my university advisor, trying to hold back my tears through gritted teeth. “Are you sure there’s no way I can go home early and finish up the year at home?

He frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lara. Maybe we can work together to figure out a way to make the last part of this year more enjoyable.

I had a little over a month left of my first year at university. The passion I held in my heart when I first arrived had dried up as I fought against anxiety and loneliness. I lacked the desire to go to any of my classes, and avoided interactions with other students as much as possible. All I wanted was to go home and be with my husband-to-be and family. I was tired of battling anxiety each day.

As I walked back to my dorm room, I kept my head low to hide my tears. If only I could find a way home, then I would be rid of this anxiety and I would be happy again.

Want to read the rest of this article? Find it at The Joyful Life Magazine.

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Lara d'Entremont

Hey, friend! I’m Lara d’Entremont—follower of Christ, wife, mother, and biblical counsellor. My desire in writing is to teach women to turn to God’s Word in the midst of their daily life and suffering to find the answers they need. She wants to teach women to love God with both their minds and hearts.