A Well-Stocked Pantry
Michelle intrigued me and confounded me, yet I knew I wanted to be just like her.
I sat back in the young mom’s Bible study, rarely daring to raise my voice to add anything. Though I write many words, I speak very few in public. Yet she spoke with such confidence and authority, because she believed, without wavering, in the truth that burned in her bones. Many of her wise words have nestled into my memory permanently, and this is one of them:
“You know how when a storm is brewing, us Maritimers crowd into the grocery stores to stock our shelves?” Michelle asked. She leaned forward, her eyes roving over the group of women. “We need to be like that with our faith. It’s not a question of if storms will come—storms will come for us, and we need to be ready with a soul packed tightly with God’s Word so we can draw on it in a time of need.”
I don’t know if those words struck anyone else, but they struck me, and I could tell Michelle was a woman with a well-stocked pantry of faith. She knew her Bible like her children, and she is one of the best mothers I know. I want that kind of faith and knowledge, I thought.
I had fallen into a habit of neglecting God’s Word. After exiting the clutches of legalism, I put my Bible on a shelf because I feared getting caught into obsessive, burdening laws for myself again. Not only that, I was a first-time mom to a busy boy who didn’t sleep well. I used it as an excuse to scroll and watch Netflix rather than crack the spine of Scripture.
That day, after hearing Michelle say those words, I went home and renewed my habit of reading God’s Word daily—not from fear of man or fear of God disowning me, but because I wanted a faith with a well-stocked pantry for the storms ahead.
Michelle and I soon became friends, but not because I sought her out; being the out-going and confident woman of God that she is, she initiated a friendship with me. We meet weekly throughout the year once our kids are in bed, and I soak up all the wisdom I can from her.
A five-year-old, two miscarriages, six weeks of bed-ridden morning sickness, preterm labor that sent me to another city for six weeks, a traumatic birth of my twin boys, and a whirlwind of a first year with them, I needed that well-stocked pantry. Yet as I grappled my way through these trials, I often wondered if I had done it right. I still questioned, doubted, wondered, and lamented. Did I stock my pantry well enough? Did I pack it tight enough?
One day, I called Michelle on the verge of tears. I hid myself in my bedroom and video called her. Our sweet wild child was in the process of being evaluated for autism, and it seemed that all the symptoms were suddenly compounding. Between the hour-long calls to specialists, the toddler meltdowns, the hitting, and the overwhelming amount of information pouring into my inbox, I felt myself crumbling. I needed her to talk me off my ledge.
For the first half of the phone call, we discussed practicals; she gave me ideas and ways to prevent some of the behavior that was wearing on me. Then she tilted her head to the side. “What else is troubling you?”
I swallowed and looked away. “I just… I just want to know… How long will this last? What does my future look like?”
She smiled sympathetically. “I can’t give you those answers, and I know it’s hard in this waiting time in the midst of the unknown. But I do know this: Lara, you can do this, because you have all you need.”
I nodded. I figured I knew the pep talk that was coming—you’re a great mom; you’re strong and wonderful and capable. I believe in you.
I don’t know why I thought such a thing; Michelle would never say that. I know that.
“You have Christ, Lara,” she said. “And he will get you through. You have a well-stocked pantry. I know your love and passion for God’s Word, and you’ve stored that Word away in your heart for such a time as this. The Holy Spirit who indwells you will use that Word to carry you and encourage you through this trial.”
New tears prodded my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“I hear a lot of people struggle over the countless verses that tell us to be thankful all the time. But truly, with our minds set on just how much grace, mercy, hope and forgiveness God gives us freely, the things of this world grow strangely dim. Placing our feet firmly in reality with the hope of eternity and the gift of grace, sets our minds differently.”
She smiled and met my eyes. “God’s work for you right now is to raise these children of his that he has entrusted to you and love them where they’re at. It will be hard. But if God had asked you way before these little ones were born, I think that you would still enter this situation willingly, prepared with peace and calm, because your mind is set with realistic expectations of the craziness of motherhood and you would be expecting the hard. Your trust and love for God would allow you to do it willingly and with a glad heart.”
I will not forget those words, and I will strive to live up to them. I want to keep a well-stocked pantry and never forget the old, old stories. Michelle both admonished and encouraged my weary heart that day, and I hope I can pass her beautiful wisdom to you as well.
