How to Help Our Suffering Husbands
I sat on the edge of my bed with my phone to my ear. For the past six weeks my husband had been a single parent while I laid in bed suffocated by morning sickness.
My doctor called regularly. She was glad to hear I was finally starting to feel normal again. She asked how my mental health was holding up.
“The anxiety is a bit better,” I replied. “But I feel guilty for how much trouble I’ve caused everyone, especially my husband.”
“This is marriage. This is why we make those vows, ‘In sickness and in health,’” she replied. “Someday, something may happen and you’ll need to take care of him. And you’ll love him in the same way he loved you.”
After the birth of our twins, my husband did suffer and need my care. And many times I failed. Often, watching someone else suffer makes us feel so helpless. We can’t change or fix them, we can’t remove their trials, and we can’t mend their pain. In joblessness, we can’t fabricate careers. In mental illness, we can’t heal their mind. In sickness, we can’t fix their body. In loss, we can’t recover what’s gone. We come before our husbands empty-handed and often wordless. How can we be their helper when we feel so helpless?
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