To the Girl Who Thinks She Needs to Change for a Boyfriend

In junior high and most of high school, I was the girl who never got asked out on a date, or even asked to dance at the school dances. As I read my Christian romance books, I longed for a guy like those characters to appear in my life and sweep me off my feet. Yet each day, I watched my friends and classmates receive the attention of the guys rather than me.

It starts to wear on you. As much as you want to believe you’re an independent girl, finding her contentment in Christ alone, there’s always this nagging feeling prying at the edges of your heart sneering, “It must be because you’re so ugly,” or, “You’re just so clumsy and awkward,” or, “You’re just too quiet.”

It doesn’t help when relatives begin asking questions. “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” To which you can only shake your head. “You need to get more involved,” they reply. They begin to suggest that you take up sports (or spend less time doing sports), and that you do more with your hair. You need to stop being so introspective. And on and on the advice goes.

As you watch the guys in your classroom or youth group flock to the other girls around you, maybe you take a glance in the window and see your reflection. As you stare into the face of the boyfriend-less girl staring back at you, you begin to wonder if perhaps you need to change.

I know I did. I even called one of those girls when I got home one day and said, “I need to change and be more like you. What should I do?”

If this is you, let me encourage you: God created you just the way you are, and He’s already at work in you—though perhaps not in the sense you think. And you don’t need to change just to get a boyfriend.

Continue reading at The Rebelution.