A Christian Worldview of Vulnerability

Vulnerability is yet another one of those words of our culture. The topic of vulnerability comes up in a variety of settings: Christian university, growing your blog / online business, writing, marriage, and many other contexts.

When the vulnerability rage began to become apparent around me, I was immediately frustrated with it. I am not a vulnerable person. I hate being vulnerable. Yet I felt like every time I attended chapel at Bible college, read a blog post, or listened in on a discussion at lunch, I was being told I had to be more vulnerable. It seemed no matter where I turned, someone was telling me to embrace vulnerability.

I hated vulnerability because I had no use for it. Why would I want to display my weaknesses? Why would I want people to know my secrets?

Perhaps you’re like me, ready to roll your eyes at the next person who uses the word. Or maybe you love vulnerability and crave it. Wherever we stand, it’s always important check what we believe and do against Scripture, because it is the authority for the Christian life (2 Tim. 3:16–17). What does the Bible say about vulnerability?

Why Vulnerability is Important

Despite my dislike for vulnerability, it has value and purpose, especially within the church. In the family of God, we are called to encourage one another to do good deeds (Heb. 10:24) and restore those who have fallen into sin (Gal. 6:1). Doing these things will be much more difficult without honest relationships. How can you keep one another accountable if you don’t know what they are struggling with? How can you encourage someone to do good works if you don’t know how they are gifted? How can you support and uplift someone in a time of difficulty if you don’t know they are suffering at all?

I hate vulnerability because I would rather push through life on my own. I want to believe I don’t need anyone; I can handle my sin and suffering on my own without the awkwardness of being honest with people. No one else should see the shadows and grim behind my façade.

Yet God created the church to love and support each other. Consider all of the “one another” passages in the New Testament, like this one: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight” (Rom. 12:10–16 ESV).

When we are vulnerable with our fellow believers, we give them the gift of fulfilling these commands. They can lift us up with encouragement, whether by guiding us out of sin, carrying us through a fiery trial, shining a light on the way God has gifted us, or reminding us of the truths that had grown dull to our ears. Then one day it will be our turn to do the same for them. We need this kind of vulnerability for the church to operate as God intended her to.

Where Vulnerability Goes Wrong

Sadly, however, vulnerability isn’t always done right. There are three ways vulnerability can go wrong.

Sin or Self is Glorified

Pride is sneaky, and it likes to slither into all that we do and think—including vulnerability. Rather than sharing our past or current sins to proclaim our mighty Saviour, we share them so that the jaws in the room will drop open. Rather than telling our story to point people to the hope of the gospel, we tell a story that will draw eyes on us or gain us the affirmation of pity we desire. Sometimes we share vulnerably because we want others to confirm that we were wronged, rather than see how God can redeem any of our brokenness.

Of course we need to talk about the darkness of sin in our stories, but our sins and failures should always turn people’s gazes back to our Perfect God who atoned for our sins. We must always check our hearts to ask why we are sharing these details of our story, and if they are necessary in order to shed light on the gospel for someone who is struggling.

Being Vulnerable to the Wrong People

One of the biggest reasons why I hated being vulnerable was fear of saying too much to the wrong kind of person. Who is the wrong type of person to be vulnerable to? It’s impossible to know for certain that someone will not use your vulnerability against you, but we can still be wise and discerning about who we are vulnerable with when talking about our sins or intimate pain.

Consider the character of the person you want to confide in. Do they gossip? Do they speak poorly of other people’s character to you? Do they make fun of others behind their backs? Do they tell secrets to you about other people? All of these are warning flags that they cannot be trusted—because if they will do it with you, they will do it to you.

This isn’t fear of man, but rather exercising wisdom with our stories. Some stories are not meant to be shared with everyone. This is also an act of love and mercy to the other person in not letting them sin against you.

Genuine, Godly Vulnerability

Godly vulnerability is focused on bringing glory to God and loving others, like the rest of our Christian walk is supposed to. Though we don’t always do this perfectly, it is always our desire.

Godly vulnerability can glorify God by showing how His strength showed through in our weaknesses. Whether it was sin, a trial, or a limitation, we can point people back to God by sharing those stories. The key is pointing back to God at all times, not ourselves. This kind of vulnerability can encourage others who facing similar difficulties as us.

Vulnerability can also equip the church to better embody Christ for us. It’s not easy admitting our needs, but God will be glorified when we reach out for the help we need, rather than plowing forward on our own.

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