Seeking An Ordered Heart in the Habits of Obedience
Whenever people came over, I wanted to hide my children in their rooms.
Sweat pricked my forehead when I heard the knock at the door. As my oldest struggled against my grip, I would pull him in closer with a smile strained across my face. What if they disobey? What if they refuse to obey after I ask them twice? Every principle I had developed in parenting dissolved when people came over—I would bribe and make ridiculous threats in harsh whispers to make my children obey when guests were in our home.
I was always amazed at how much energy they had once people arrived, especially considering how much cleaning I had ordered them to do before the guests had likely even left their homes. I sent each family member scattered about like mice in an attempt to collect every bit of dust, clothing, and toys. I felt exhausted before anyone even stepped through our door.
Between the strain of mind and heart, along with the physical endurance needed, there were days that I wondered if it was worth having people over at all—at least, not until my little ones were sixteen.
Charlotte Mason saw mothers doing this in her day. She wrote in Home Education, “a mother whose final question is, ‘What will people say? What will people think? How will it look?’ and the children grow up with habits of seeming, and not of being; they are content to appear well-dressed, well-mannered, and well-intentioned to outsiders, with very little effort after beauty, order, and goodness at home, and in each other’s eyes.”
In our Instagram world, this quote could have easily been spoken in our day and age. Do we buy cute wooden toys, sandy-coloured clothes, and botanical posters to train, order, and love our family in the ways of truth and righteousness, or are we looking to achieve an Instagram picture that fits with the aesthetic of our feed? Are we striving to form image bearers who with true grace reflect their King, or impress people with a reflection of this world—with the false appearance of beauty?
Continue reading at Commonplace Quarterly.
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