Maybe the man you married hasn’t turned out to be the spiritual leader of your dreams. If so, there are two temptations I’d like to encourage you to guard yourself from: Taking up your chisels to carve your husbands into an idol, or carving yourself into an idol for him. 

Whether we are mothers already or desiring to be mothers, we too at times find fulfillment and joy in becoming moms. We place our hope in being the best mom and strive to outdo one another in mothering (just look at the mommy wars on social media). Our identity must be in Christ.

My anger acts in a similar way at times. It screams and refuses to be overlooked until it gets what it wants. It demands to be noticed. What do we control our anger when it demands its way? How can we submit it to God’s commands to be patient, loving, and kind? We begin in our hearts. 

In her book Idols of a Mother’s Heart, Christina Fox sets out to help mothers recognize the idols they have stored away in the corners of their hearts. But she doesn’t leave us mothers there with a pile of idols to clean up on our own—she guides mothers how to turn from those idols and back to God.

What’s wrong with self-sufficiency? The problem is that we are far from capable of doing it all on our own. This misplaced desire to be self-sufficient causes a number of problems: legalism, broken community, and idolatry.

Though I now laugh at my childhood (and adulthood) paranoia, many of us fear our own death. We consider this a normal fear—and if someone didn’t share in this fear, we may consider them odd. But does the Bible promote this attitude? Perhaps we should consider our fear and see what God’s Word has to say about it.

Though I told people I lived a healthy lifestyle in order to tame my anxiety and to make me feel better, that wasn’t my true motivation. I was motivated by idolatry. Any motive or desire left unchecked, whether godly or vain, can become an idol—something more important than loving and obeying God.

As our expectations of what marriage with a Christian man should look like is slowly torn to bits and tossed to the wind, we can feel discouraged, angry, hopeless, bitter, and heartbroken. What do we do with these feelings? How do we bring back that love we had at the altar?

Do I seek relief and fulfillment from God or my husband? Where do I run in times of need? What ultimately comforts my soul in difficult times—the return of my husband after work or my Perfect Father above? If all I had left was Christ, would He be enough?