The Gracious Response to Criticism
I have a love-hate relationship with editing. I love the people who edit my work, and I’m thankful for each of them and their thorough feedback, but it always bothers my “perfectionist tendencies” because it reminds me that I cannot write a perfect piece, whether it be an essay, an article, or story. In my prideful heart, I want to be perfect. I want people to praise me for my excellent writing that needs no editing whatsoever.
Yet it’s through that very editing that I’ve grown in the craft of writing. Without formally teaching, my editors are teaching me ways to improve my writing for the future. Though I don’t enjoy seeing all the red marks scattered over my page, I’m learning to find joy in them, knowing they will not only improve the piece at hand, but will also improve my future writing.
In a similar way, I’m learning to love the “edit suggestions” other people make in my life for my good. Our natural tendency is to be defensive when others point out our faults, failings, sins, or where we have gone wrong either in thinking or action. How do we lower our defences? We must test ourselves and see if their criticism is true, and if it is true, we must discern how to apply it.
Evaluating Criticism
There are times when criticism is unnecessary and wrong. Some people are mean and critical and are simply looking to pick a fight. But that doesn’t mean all criticism comes from that kind of heart. Sometimes, even the most ruthless of criticisms still have a speck of truth buried under the hate.
We evaluate criticism by checking it against Scripture. Are they calling our an actual sin? Sometimes what people perceive as sin is only their conscience or preference. For example, some Christians don’t believe in celebrating Halloween while others do; unless you are sinning while participating in Halloween, another Christian cannot rightfully condemn you for celebrating because there is no clear command in the Bible against it.
If the criticism does pass the biblical test, then you should start evaluating yourself. Have I actually sinned in this way? Am I guilty? Like with editing our own writing, it can be difficult for us to see sin in our own lives. You may need to ask the person for examples, or talk to a few trusted friends and ask them if they have noticed this same problem in your life.
Remember to be humble. Never consider yourself too good to fall into a certain sin. The Bible warns us of this: “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Cor. 10:12 NASB). Keep a humble attitude and be willing to question yourself when confronted.
Attitudes for Accepting Criticism
Accepting criticism doesn’t need to be cringe-worthy. You can find joy in it. Those who criticize you (unless it’s done for the sake of cruelty) can prove to be loyal friends. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Prov. 27:6 ESV). Find comfort in the fact that someone was looking out for you and possibly seeking your best.
If the person’s kindness is not enough to bring you some sort of comfort, be thankful that someone pointed out an error of weakness or sin to you so that you can improve and grow in your sanctification. Proverbs 11:14 says that a nation falls when it has no counsel, but with an abundance of counsellors a person can find safety.
Because we’re so slow to recognize our own sins and blind to our own faults, having others to point them out is a blessing and gift from God. As difficult and awkward criticism may feel in the moment, God’s grace is still prevalent in it. Due to his compassionate love and desire for his own glory, he doesn’t want you to remain in sin. Thanks be to God that he has put others in our lives who aren’t afraid to speak the truth and show us where we have gone wrong (Gal. 6:1–5). It’s an action of his mercy.
Let’s give up our hate for criticism. Together, let’s learn to evaluate criticism properly and joyfully accept it when it is true—whether it be in our writing or our walk with the Lord.
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Though writing in itself is often a solitary work, it shouldn’t be done in isolation. As writers, we need a team of people to sharpen, encourage, carry, and guide us. I don’t mean a hired team to run your social media accounts, manage your website, or reply to comments. I mean friends and mentors, supporters, and loving editors. We need these kinds of people in our corner to keep us accountable, lift up our gaze, and grow us in our craft.